If you’ve ever thought about building a sex toy website, whether you are already in the pleasure products business or not, you should — and you can.
With a multitude of free and low-cost resources online, it is entirely possible to build a website, automate inventory management and keep 100 percent of the profit. Companies like Shopify and WooCommerce are extremely user-friendly, and ideal especially for beginners with zero experience. These two also allow for the integration of data feeds that manage inventory and populate individual product details. These feeds are accessible through some adult distributors (SexToyClub and Honey’s Place, for example) in the form of downloadable .CSV files that you can plug and play into your website quickly and pretty painlessly.
Your business should be an extension of you and/or the most celebrated qualities of your existing business.
Other benefits of creating your own DIY pleasure products website is that you have complete creative freedom as far as visual aesthetic, the products you sell, and the content that you post.
I hate to burst your bubble, but there is work required. There is no setting up a website with 10,000 products, sitting back, relaxing and watching the cash roll in. It just doesn’t work that way, otherwise everyone would do it! Additionally, there is no quick answer to the million-dollar question, “how do I get traffic to my site?”, or “how do I start making money?”
There is no need to wrap your head around the tech-centric intricacies of data feeds and SEO tricks right off the bat — what comes first and foremost is identifying your goals as an e-commerce owner, starting with your big-picture vision, and how that translates to the end-user experience.
Can it feel intimidating and/or discouraging to look at the oversaturated online sea of sex toy websites and wonder how you will make a dollar? Very much so! Similar to standing at the bottom of a mountain that you have no idea how to climb. That’s okay! It is a process of getting up and running (a small step in a long, trial-and-error journey), and tweaking your style based on what is working and what isn’t.
The true vehicle for success in the online world lies in knowing your purpose, communicating your passion, and telling a story that genuinely resonates with other people.
Passion is the equivalent of energy, and energy is magnetic. Energy is what differentiates a hohum experience from a remarkable one, in any situation. In the eyes of a consumer, stumbling upon a generic website is along the same lines as walking into a brick-and-mortar store and feeling overwhelmed and lost with the amount of products to peruse. One benefit of online shopping for consumers is the privacy factor — shopping in public isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. With that said, it is your job, and so important, to guide customers through their online shopping experience by establishing trust — aka connection — which is something that Amazon will never be able to compete with.
Often times, those who start a sex toy website give up when they don’t see results in the first three months. Yes, the pleasure products industry is very lucrative. But it is not an overnight money-maker. Any business in this industry requires dialing in on your core demographic, committing to bringing them value (education, not rock-bottom prices) and showing up every day to do so.
Your objectives should always circle back to these virtues, because without them, you’ll be just another brick in the wall.
Finding and capturing your ideal customer is entirely possible, without having to discount product prices or compete with third-party sellers. Just because other online retailers have lower prices doesn’t mean you have to sell yourself short by attracting the bargain hunters. There are as many potential consumers who will pay full price for a product in exchange for an online experience that can’t be replicated elsewhere.
Who are your ideal customers? What is their age range? What kind of lifestyle do they live? Where do they shop, what do they drive? What is their relationship status?
More importantly, who are you? What motivates you to sell sex toys? How does that intertwine with your life experiences? How does your strategy solve a “problem” for your target customer? What sexual wellness topics can you talk forever about because they light you up and get your stomach? This is the key to successful long-term entrepreneurship.
When I started my online store, I was determined to believe that I could create a successful website that was an extension of my personality and style, without compromising my quirks and creativity. I spent countless late nights and weekends on the couch selecting products that I stood behind, making free social media graphics online, posting blogs, and re-writing every single product description to mirror my voice and my experiences with those toys, in a humorous and educational light. Once I felt that there was enough content to go live (FYI, you will never be done, your website should evolve with the fast-paced trends of the adult novelty market), I released my website into the wild and hoped that in the near future, I would have just one paying customer. Even if that was a $20 sale a week.
A year and a half later, and there have been some weeks when I haven’t been able to keep up with my online orders. I don’t say that to brag; I say it so that you know that your business can be completely unconventional and wildly successful just by being you.
To this day, I haven’t paid one single dollar on advertising, keywords, or marketing. I can’t advertise even if I wanted to — Facebook and Instagram reject any ads with the slightest sexually suggestive content, and most recently, no ads promoting sex toys whatsoever. Please know that you 100 percent get to create the rules in your business. When I am motivated with an idea, I remove doubt and fear and just do it. You have absolutely nothing to lose by putting yourself out there, and everything to gain.
If you are already in the sex toy business as a retailer or home party owner, benefits of starting and managing your own online store include:
1. The obvious — expanding your revenue streams.
2. You’ve already got a huge advantage, as opposed to someone starting from scratch without a lick of industry knowledge. You are familiar with manufacturers, product trends and distributors.
3. In addition to the drop-ship items available through your distributor, you can list stock online, if it isn’t moving on the shelves of your store or at live events. By doing so, you are offering the opportunity for your customers to shop online privately (perhaps offer a “pick-up in-store” option at checkout, too), and you have the ability to offer slow-moving stock to get it out of your hair. These items can also easily go into a “sale” section on your website.
These are the most valuable takeaways from my own experience building an online business:
Create a ‘Purple Cow’
The first marketing book I read almost 20 years ago, was “Purple Cow: Transform Your Business By Being Remarkable” by Seth Godin. What Godin shares in this book has stayed with me every step throughout my own entrepreneurial journey and has made all the difference. In the book, Godin explains that creating a “purple cow” — something truly remarkable, is vital to creating a marketable brand or product. Twenty years later, that is true now more than ever with the endless competition and undercutting of competing businesses. There is absolutely no room to be boring or common. It simply will not work.
The beauty of building your own online store is that you have the freedom to do whatever you want, in regards to connecting with your target consumer. This is where a curated product selection is gold — be intentional about the manufacturers and items that you stock. Don’t blend in with the pack, especially not with your products! What items can you bundle together with a catchy name, that aren’t found elsewhere? Turn the usual product categories like “Anal Toys” into “Butt Play” for example— you can find a place to use the “anal toys” keywords somewhere else (like in your blog), so you’re not necessarily losing out on big keywords if you choose to go the creative route.
What would you or your closest friends want to see on an online adult novelty store? Give consumers what they want, and what they don’t see elsewhere (and I cannot stress this enough!) Feedback from your in-store customers or social media followers is helpful if you need some ideas.
Traffic
Sending traffic to your website, social media and/or primary place of business is like pinball — ideally your traffic should bounce from one source to the other. Social media sends traffic to web. Organic traffic should be inclined to follow you on social media or visit in-store (if they are local). Implementing just one traffic strategy will not work — they all go hand-in-hand. Additionally, you can’t have online success without acquiring exposure in every possible corner of the internet! A couple of examples:
1. Getting your domain out there as much as possible, for example, Reddit and Facebook groups are great places to drop links (very subtly).
2. Looking for collaboration opportunities all the time. Example: your brand focuses on body-positivity and self-love. Find fat-positive influencers to review a product or write a blog. Those who skirt the line between edgy and mainstream are fantastic because they will provide exposure to new faces who wouldn’t visit an online shop on their own. (Influencers are an awesome catalyst to establishing trust between brands and consumers!)
Content Is Queen
A blog section is a must! They don’t have to be long — most readers aren’t going to sift through a 300-word piece anyways. Search engines love active, consistent content, and it’s an opportunity to plump up your site with keywords. But — with that said, all keywords are not created equal. Strike a balance between keywords that fall in the middle of the road as far as medium-to-high. There is far too much competition in the “bullet vibe” or “vibrating massager” category. You don’t need to be a keyword pro and you don’t need to pay thousands of dollars for SEO strategy. I’ve seen my coaching clients experience a lot of empty promises by dishing out big bucks to SEO consultants (primarily mainstream, which is a totally different ballgame than adult novelty). Fiverr.com has some legit freelancers who will get you exactly what you need on a budget.
Get a list of topics together during a brainstorming session, perhaps one or two blogs a week to start. Again, what can you personally talk about with your customers or friends that you never get tired of? Here are a few examples of popular questions that would make great blog topics for the general newcomer:
“How do I talk to my partner about trying a sex toy?”
“What is the difference between water-based and silicone-based lube?”
“What is the best cost-effective clitoral sucker?”
“My partner and I want to experiment with BDSM, where do we start?”
Note: under any circumstances, do not copy or duplicate any online articles or blogs on your website whether you credit the original writer or not. Aside from being considered plagiarism, doing so will result in penalization from search engines.
Scope the Competition
What online retail sites do you find the most engaging, and why? Not just adult sites — all too often we are looking at what our industry peers are doing. Think outside of the box — there is so much to learn and adopt from mainstream businesses! You should not set out to mimic the vibe of any existing successful brand, because it is impossible to keep that charade going forever in the long run. Bottom line, your business should be an extension of you and/or the most celebrated qualities of your existing business. Trust that your uniqueness is what will continue to magnetize the right consumers, and keep them coming back.
Regarding the big bad Amazon: There are a lot of products and specific manufacturers being sold on third-party sites, Amazon specifically, for even lower than your wholesale cost. Totally depressing. Solution: don’t list those products. This is where extra research comes into play, by acquiring a general idea of the sex toy manufacturers who are selling for far below MSRP, and avoiding those items. Luckily, many manufacturers are taking a stand and preventing their products to be sold on third-party sites: stick with them. Your distributor will provide a full list of the companies who have strict MAP policies in place, which creates a level playing field for everyone.
Investing in an expensive or complex website doesn’t make you more qualified than your competition. You can hire copywriters, SEO strategists and graphic designers, but the compelling stuff that truly converts can’t be outsourced; it is already within you.
Casey Murphy is an adult novelty industry veteran, writer, speaker and founder of The Pleasure Parlor, an online adult boutique and traveling pop-up shop.
