Charlotte Stokely is parlaying her nearly two-decade career as an acclaimed adult star into a talent-empowering role as chairwoman of The Cupcake Girls, a national nonprofit that champions and supports sex workers while combating sex trafficking.
Having won numerous Girl/Girl Performer of the Year and Best Sex Scene accolades, Stokely is drawing on her wealth of experiences in the trenches to provide genuinely uplifting care that aims to avoid the pitfalls to which much well-meaning yet ultimately flawed advocacy often falls prey. As a certified sex educator and health coach, Stokely can apply her specialized training to more effectively administer resources encompassing financial aid, championing sex workers’ rights, mentorship programs and more.
Our team leaders, mentors, advocates, volunteers and resource partners provide diverse support with an emphasis on empowering our sex worker clients in their pursuits.
She also continues to juggle her own independent content creation career as well as starring roles with high-profile studios like Slayed and AllHerLuv, not to mention balancing a personal life rich with scientific research, role-playing games — of the Dungeons and Dragons variety — international travel and managing her properties.
In this exclusive WIA Woman of the Month interview, Stokely discusses her approach to coordinating a hectic schedule, doing the right thing as best she can to improve the lives of those around her, plus upcoming goals she aims to achieve in the new year and beyond.
XBIZ: Discuss how your career has evolved over the years and brought you to your current focus.
STOKELY: I’ve always had a great passion for self-growth, and considering “Charlotte” is an extension of myself, I feel we’ve evolved together in almost every way. When I first started working in porn there was no real guideline beyond an agent, no roadmap-to-success handbook; you sort of just learned along the way. One of the advantages of this industry, however, is working with different people and absorbing their wisdom, as well as learning tips and perspectives on what success looks like. I absorbed everything I possibly could along the way and now dedicate my time to teaching new performers everything I know to help them succeed.
I started speaking on panels about ways to balance your work life and personal life, the importance of mental health and investing your money. I loved speaking on the panels and educating, so in 2019 I decided to go back to school. I became a certified sex educator and a certified health coach. I wanted my words to have more validity beyond just my personal experience, especially as fans started asking me more sex-ed types of questions and holding onto my every word as fact. Sure, I was a “queen of sex,” but I was no expert.
As my accolades in the industry increased, I started to feel braver with speaking up publicly for those who were scared to do so, in terms of respecting talent boundaries and consent in the workplace. I didn’t realize how profound that would be at the time and I certainly don’t regret it. So I’ve decided to put my focus into helping empower my peers to evolve and have a voice, which brings us to where we are today with my role as chairwoman of the national nonprofit The Cupcake Girls.
XBIZ: What studios do you shoot for mainly these days and which recent projects excite you most?
STOKELY: I’m particularly stoked about being the lead actress in a 1950s-style noir feature called “One Night in the Valley,” directed by Ricky Greenwood for AllHerLuv. I’m especially excited about this project as it’s been nominated for All-Girl Movie of the Year at the 2023 XBIZ Awards! It’s a riveting film about a disgruntled detective — me — and her search for a missing woman whom she’s personally deeply connected to.
I related to this character a lot as I’m personally a very empathetic person. I lowered my voice octaves for the entire film as I felt it fit the brooding character best, which was a fun challenge. I’m always looking for new ways to expand my acting abilities. I took professional acting classes throughout the summer and loved every minute of it. I look forward to new acting challenges this year. Fingers crossed for more scripts that truly allow me to show my abilities and passion for acting. I’m planning to shoot a lot more feature work in 2023!
Notably, I acted as the co-lead in a mainstream film releasing at the end of January 2023, called “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” I don’t want to give anything away, but you must watch it. When I’m not shooting for Slayed, Dorcel, AllHerLuv and others, I focus on shooting my own content for platforms such as OnlyFans, ManyVids, iWantClips, etc.
XBIZ: How do you split your time between your various revenue streams?
STOKELY: Whichever revenue stream is currently the most profitable quickly becomes my main focus as far as dedication and time spent. I then work toward building up my other revenues as well, which can require a lot of mental bandwidth to keep track of everything, so I’m a huge advocate of lists. I have whiteboards throughout my house with different plans of action to increase monetization. One whiteboard in front of my TV serves as a reminder: “Do I really want to sit and watch TV, or cross off an item listed below?” I have a whiteboard in my designated shooting area reminding me which types of content I should film first, because they’re the most requested or top sellers.
I like to set aside one day a week to pre-schedule updates for platforms like Twitter, my OnlyFans timeline and sometimes scenes in my mass DMs. It helps me be consistent with posting and also free up mental space to focus more on creativity in my scenes by getting the clerical aspects out of the way.
XBIZ: Discuss your work with The Cupcake Girls. How did that first come about?
STOKELY: I met The Cupcake Girls organization in January 2019 and spoke to them about their resources and how I could help. I immediately became a community activator, referring clients to them and sitting in roundtables about how they could better support the sex work industry. I was surprised they had been around for almost 10 years and I was just learning of their existence.
Alongside going back to school to become a sex educator and health coach, I started my own business directed toward assisting sex workers in areas of mental, emotional, sexual, financial and nutritional health. Shortly after my company’s launch, I realized The Cupcake Girls was already providing these resources, plus so much more. My company wasn’t prepared to also assist in client legal matters, medical access, rent assistance, financial grants and free therapy like The Cupcake Girls was doing, so I decided to dissolve my business and join forces instead.
Why not combine resources rather than compete? Because at the end of the day, it’s the client that matters and I was never in it for the money anyway.
XBIZ: In what ways has your role at The Cupcake Girls grown over time as you help fulfill the group’s mission?
STOKELY: I spent most of 2019 as a community activator helping with fundraising, which is crucial work for a nonprofit. At the end of 2019, I was asked to participate in a roundtable with a few past clients who had concerns about their past care with the organization and what I realized, among other things, was that this organization wasn’t run by actual sex workers.
Of course, the compassion to help clients was present, but they didn’t have the firsthand experience of being a sex worker. I applied to be on the board and after multiple rounds of interviews, I became the first-ever sex worker board member! I immediately used this position to amplify my voice, wisdom and ideas for growth on the inside to better help our clients’ care across the nation.
The organization hired a new executive director, Amy Merell, at the same time I first entered my position on the board and I worked very closely with her. After being on the board of directors for over a year, I applied to fill the position of chairwoman. It was a truly memorable experience having all members vote yes! It’s been such an incredible journey and I’ve been chairwoman since May 2022.
XBIZ: Can you share any stories of how you have helped The Cupcake Girls uplift sex workers?
STOKELY: Ultimately, the most uplifting thing I’ve done to help sex workers is joining the organization as a sex worker myself. Why? Because now we have multiple sex workers hired as staff in various roles such as a branch manager, grant writers and more. We’re making tremendous strides toward getting our new resource center funded, which will provide event space for fundraising and also better office space for client meetings in the Las Vegas branch. Amy and I have personally met with casino heads of security to actively help victims of sex trafficking instead of arresting them, and other harm reduction methods. We’re advocating for decriminalization of sex work because we believe it will help the safety of sex workers.
It’s really inspiring to work with an organization that envisions a world where consensual sex workers are safe and empowered, while sex trafficking is eradicated. Our team leaders, mentors, advocates, volunteers and resource partners provide diverse support with an emphasis on empowering our sex worker clients in their pursuits.
XBIZ: How do you stay healthy, inside and out?
STOKELY: I believe true health is achieved when multiple elements are in balance with each other, such as having good nutritional, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, sexual, environmental and financial health. It’s impossible to maintain all these categories in perfect balance, but it’s what I aim for. I try to keep myself open to change, practice good boundaries and provide myself with “rest days” when needed. Sometimes rest is being productive! Practicing gratitude is something I’ve found helpful too; starting off my day saying three things I’m grateful for really makes a profound impact.
XBIZ: What’s your approach to marketing?
STOKELY: Do it! Diversify the releases to show your fans the variety of projects you’re working on. Consistency, with at least one article about you or written by you a month, is key too, so hire a PR team to help if you’re able. Schedule out posts if you know you’re going to be too busy to maintain daily posts. Always speak your truth, because it shows in your work, and fan engagement is crucial to marketing. Remember their value, because fans are No. 1.
XBIZ: What personal hobbies are taking up the majority of your leisure time these days?
STOKELY: I’m looking at various architectural blueprints to generate ideas before I start building a cabin on my land. I also finally paid off my second lot of land’s mortgage this year and my water rights officially went through as well; it’s not an easy or quick process to buy water rights! This was a huge goal of mine and I’m feeling great with my advancements.
My favorite hobbies haven’t changed much over the past four years, centering on researching geology, volcanoes, heliophysics/solar weather and seismology. Spending time with friends, whether in person or on FaceTime, is my most favored “personal hobby.” I feel so strongly after the pandemic lockdowns, and after losing some friends and family members this past year, that time is the greatest currency. I need to add more value to my time spent. I’ve been such a tornado of activity with career-building, but lately I’m getting a strong sense that the transaction of energy and love is more valuable than money. If friends aren’t available or I’m burnt out from researching, I fancy a good scroll on TikTok and watching episodes of “Friends.”
XBIZ: Give us a glimpse of your goals for 2023 and beyond.
STOKELY: I’d like to challenge myself with more acting roles and earn myself the accolade of best lead actress. I’d love to see the new resource center for The Cupcake Girls reach its funding goal and begin construction. I want to see the fruition of major discussions about my partnering with a reputable worldwide company — and that’s all I’m going to say about that!
I’d like to invest more time in world travel. Particularly, I’d love to visit Iceland, return to Italy and explore Costa Rica in 2023. I’m sort of obsessed with volcanoes, so I really want to hike them, poke lava with sticks and fly over calderas in a helicopter! I also want to allow myself more time for learning other languages, primarily Spanish and Italian. I want to wake up every day with a smile on my face and a smile in my heart. Being nominated for and winning the XBIZ Award for WIA Woman of the Year would be pretty amazing, so I’ll be working hard towards this goal throughout the year and beyond. Last but not least, I plan to have sex with lots of hot women all around the world!
Each month, XBIZ spotlights the career accomplishments and outstanding contributions of Women in Adult. WIA profiles offer an intimate look at the professional lives of the industry's most influential female executives.
