CYBERSPACE — Kinkly.com has released the results of a reader survey that delved into the sociology of faking orgasms during partnered sex.
Titled "Faking It: Why We Fake Orgasms," the survey gathered 1,232 responses from Kinkly's 700,000 monthly visitors and concluded that 80 percent of respondents have "faked it" at least once.
Kinkly's findings dug into when, why and under what circumstances survey takers felt the need to pretend to climax.
“Two things really stood out,” remarked Tara Struyk, Kinkly co-founder and editor-in-chief. “First, people told us they were most likely to fake an orgasm with a long-term partner. We really expected it to be the other way around, but respondents were brutally honest about why they faked orgasms with people they knew well.”
Of the respondents, 62 percent were female and 36 percent male. Only two percent identified as transgender with one percent identifying as "agender."
Out of the self-identified cisgender subjects surveyed, 87 percent of the women and 69 percent of the men copped to having faked an orgasm at least once before.
According to the results, the most typical reasons for faked orgasms were, from most to least common:
- “I didn't want my partner to feel bad"
- “I wanted the sexual encounter to end”
- “I wanted to make my partner feel good”
- “I was sexually satisfied, but did it because I felt it was 'expected' to end the encounter”
“That was the other part that surprised us," said Struyk. "How beautifully honest people were about the reasons they faked their orgasms, how their partners responded and how all that made them feel. “Orgasm is one of those things that people should communicate about, but our results suggest that that often isn't happening, or isn't happening in a functional, healthy way."
“We really feel like this kind of open, honest conversation is the first step toward helping people have better, more fulfilling sex lives,” she concluded.
The survey continues to report some negative reactions partners had after faked orgasms were admitted; however, Struyk concludes by observing the positive correlation between the mainstreaming of sex toys and the self-love movement.
“We're seeing way more acceptance of masturbation, sexual exploration and orgasm as healthy parts of being human,” noted Struyk. “I think when we gain the language and permission to talk about those things openly, it goes a long way toward solving the problems that happen between couples when it comes to sexual pleasure. At the very least, helping people explore pleasure on their own empowers them to seek out that satisfaction in their relationships with others.”
For more information on "Faking It: Why We Fake Orgasms," contact tara@kinkly.com.
