Autoblow Gets 'Mount' Device for Self-Driving Tesla

Autoblow Gets 'Mount' Device for Self-Driving Tesla

SEATTLE — Inventor and founder of Autoblow, Brian Sloan, has announced the release of the Automoblow, a device that connects the Autoblow A.I. to any Tesla model’s cupholder so that it may be used while self-driving.

“Male Tesla owners will soon face a new option after engaging autopilot: whether or not to pleasure themselves,” said a rep.

The Automoblow is vertically and horizontally adjustable to accommodate all body types and rotates 180 degrees so that it may be also used by the front seat passenger.

“Although self-driving cars are relatively new, the technology will soon be ubiquitous and drivers will have to decide how to spend time previously used controlling cars between destinations,” the rep continued. “With the launch of the Automoblow, people will, for the first time, have the option to masturbate on the way to important meetings and [before or after] stressful events such as dental appointments and funerals. Long road trips will no longer be monotonous.”

Sloan said that he knows “some people will [say] that this invention is unnecessary but I believe those same people, had they been born earlier, would have been late adopters of electricity and the automobile. Artificial intelligence, as it is used in self-driving cars, and even in our male sex toy, frees humans from mundane tasks and allows us to spend our time in more productive ways or in leisure.”

“As self-gratification is a popular leisure activity and controlling a car is not particularly enjoyable, it is self-evident that many men will choose to buy an Automoblow,” Sloan added.

Sloan has released a short commercial showing the Automoblow in action, which can also be viewed here.

For additional details, visit the Autoblow website.

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