One suggestion, says Silverberg said, is to do a pre-holiday sweep of your residence, to make sure and clear out any adult materials or toys that might be shocking to visiting relatives.
Whether it’s your Aunt Gertrude or underage niece — Silverberg also cautions about any online indiscretions, just in case there are computers being shared over the holiday.
“Nothing against porn or even holiday porn consumption,” Silverberg wrote. “But being exposed to pornography should be consensual; and flipping open your niece's laptop to check movie times probably isn’t the time you want to learn about her talents as an amateur pornographer.”
He also cites an article by Wired.com’s Regina Lynn on the content dangers of unencrypted sex.
Silverberg advises also, for couples to develop a secret code when honest communication in front of relatives is impossible.
“Developing a code or sign can pre-empt a lot of miscommunication, and it can be sexy too. You can have fun developing your own codes, or you can consider borrowing from other cultures. If you don’t have anyone in your family who knows American Sign Language (ASL), you could take some time and learn a few sexual signs from ASL, or take a page from queer culture, and adopt your own version of the hanky codes (maybe instead of using actual handkerchiefs, you could have sweater or socks color codes),” he said.
For couples that feel the urge to break away from the seasonal festivities to spend some time together, Silverberg advises keeping it as quiet as possible. This can make holiday encounters extra hot with a little planning and imagination.
“Quickies may be the order of the day. Don’t worry so much about introducing new (possibly holiday themed) moves into your sex. Stick with the tried and true sex techniques you know will work, and work quickly,” he said.
According to Silverberg, the bathroom can become a closet of forbidden delights, with the added convenience of flushing toilets and running water to hide certain noises.
Last, but not least, Silverberg says that a little self-love can come in handy, to relieve some of that holiday tension.
“It’s always worth remembering that our first, longest, and most consistent sexual relationship is with ourselves,” he said. “You might wait until after Christmas to buy yourself a present, but don’t wait until the holidays are over to show yourself some good loving.”
“Whether or not you have someone else to have sex with over the holidays, you should make liberal use of masturbation as a form of stress relief, distraction, and therapy,” Silverberg said. “Masturbation can also be very quick and very quiet sex, making it a versatile choice over the holidays.”