Shifting Attitudes: Talking About Prostate Play

If you’ve been following trends in the sex toy world, you’ve probably noticed that there are more products for prostate play than there used to be. Aneros paved the way with one of the first products specifically for that purpose, but you can trace this shift back to the 1998 how-to movie “Bend Over Boyfriend.” Momentum has been slow to build, but in the last few years, more and more prostate toys have been hitting the shelves. That means that increasing numbers of men are giving it a try, especially straight men. If you want to be able to sell your products to them, you need to know what hurdles they face.

As one of the authors of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure,” I’ve spoken with hundreds of men and their partners about what keeps them from exploring prostate play. We found that most of the reasons fall into three categories. Will it hurt? Will it get messy? Does it mean I’m gay?

When your customers have questions or are looking for prostate toys, don’t get left behind. All it takes is a little planning to make sure that your staff knows how to respond and that your store is a comfortable place to visit.

The first two are about the physical experience and they can come up for anyone around anal sex. So it’s important for your staff to know how to talk with customers about making anal sex pleasurable and how to reassure people that with a little know-how, they can make anal play lots of fun.

That third one is a bit trickier, for a few reasons. A lot of people still think of receiving penetration as “the woman’s role” or assume that only gay men enjoy it. When customers come to your store or website to ask about products for prostate pleasure, they might be struggling with these concerns. And even if they aren’t, how sure are you that your staff is giving them the best information and suggestions? What would you say if you found out that your employees were letting their ideas about men and anal sex get in the way of making a sale?

Not only that, but all three of these common concerns can play off of each other. Worries about hygiene or pain are often magnified by negative attitudes about men who enjoy receiving anal penetration (whatever their sexual orientation). And while questions about cleanliness can certainly arise when talking about women and anal sex, they’re usually a lot less charged. Anal sex for women is much more common in porn and the media, and attitudes about penetration are different when it comes to women. So while some people do have negative feelings about women and anal play, it’s important for your staff to be extra aware when talking about men.

What’s the return on your investment in all of this? When your customers feel comfortable asking questions about one product or area of your store, they’re more likely to be comfortable asking about others. And each time they do, your staff has an opportunity to make a sale, suggest cross-sells and up-sells, and promote your brand. It also increases brand loyalty, and the odds of that customer coming back, and even bringing someone new, go up.

Over the last decade, the sex retail world has become much more aware the value of making stores and websites comfortable for women, and we’ve seen the benefit of that for manufacturers and retailers across the industry. Attitudes towards sex are constantly shifting and we’re already seeing more men and their partners who are curious about prostate massage and pegging. Given how many questions I get about it, it’s clear that the interest is there. Here are some tips to take advantage of it.

Take a look at your anal section. Do the images on your shelves feature women? What message do you think that gives men and their partners when they want to shop?

Does your staff assume that a guy who’s shopping in that section is either gay or picking a toy for a female partner? That’s a great opportunity for you to have a conversation about the difference between sexual orientation and sexual pleasure.

Does your product selection include slimmer toys that are more suitable for beginners? And do you carry products that are designed for prostate play? If not, have you considered adding them?

What training do you give your staff about anal sex and prostate massage? And how do you follow up to make sure that accurate information is getting to your customers? Remember — just because someone is comfortable talking about the G-spot doesn’t mean they know how to talk about this. “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure” will answer all of their questions, too!

When your customers have questions or are looking for prostate toys, don’t get left behind. All it takes is a little planning to make sure that your staff knows how to respond and that your store is a comfortable place to visit.

Charlie Glickman, PhD, is a sexuality speaker, trainer, writer, blogger and coach. He’s an AASECT-certified sex educator and has been working in this field for more than 20 years. Charlie is the co-author of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners.” Find out more about him at CharlieGlickman.com.

Related:  

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

How Adult Retailers Can Enhance Sales With Supplements

The supplement industry is big business. In 2024, Future Market Insights estimated it to be valued at $74.3 billion, and other market research firms anticipate that number will grow to upwards of $170 billion in just 10 years.

Rick Magana ·
opinion

Why It's Time the Pleasure Industry Got Serious About IPX Waterproof Ratings

As someone who regularly communicates with manufacturers, retailers and consumers, I’ve seen how this ambiguity can do a disservice to both the customers who use these products and the businesses that sell them.

Alicia Sinclair Rosen ·
opinion

Tips for Sexual Wellness Brands to Win Over Gen Z This Summer

As summer rolls around, the excitement in the air is palpable, especially for one particular demographic: Gen Z. College and university classes are over, vacations are booked and it’s time to let loose.

Naima Karp ·
opinion

Celebrating the LGBTQ+ Community With Inclusive Packaging Design

Pride Month is a time of visibility, joy and self-expression. In the pleasure industry, projecting that energy can start with something as simple as a box. Market research shows that 72% of U.S. consumers say product packaging influences their purchasing decisions.

Matthew Spindler ·
profile

WIA Profile: Pettus Ashley

Pettus Ashley brings her A game to the world of authentic adult branding, flitting between airports as the American face of U.K. brand Bathmate. As a company brand ambassador, Ashley personifies Bathmate’s dedication to the retail world, showering staff with equal amounts of appreciation and sales education.

Women In Adult ·
profile

Good Relations Fosters Sex Wellness, Positivity for 40+ Years

Melinda Myers, the founder and owner of Good Relations in Eureka, California, was still in college when she got invited to attend her first pleasure products home party.

Quinton Bellamie ·
opinion

Why It's Time for Pleasure Brands to Stop Ignoring B2C Marketing

For many B2B adult brands, marketing to consumers feels like a waste of time. I’ve heard it so many times: “We sell to retailers, not consumers. Why should we invest in B2C marketing?”

Hail Groo ·
opinion

The Midlife Movement Is Exploding; Is the Pleasure Industry Ready?

In marketing, there tends to be an emphasis on the younger generation — the trendsetters. The assumption is that appealing to the younger market has a halo effect on older consumers, who look to younger folks for what is on trend.

Sarah Tomchesson ·
opinion

Gender Play Gets Creative With Fantasy Toys

Sex toy manufacturers are increasingly recognizing the value of fantasy products, expanding their lines to include ever more diverse designs. What was once considered a niche market has proven to have broad appeal, demonstrating that people are eager to explore desires that extend beyond conventional human experiences.

Rin Musick ·
opinion

How Sex Toy Retailers Can Better Support Marginalized Communities

As someone who has been in the industry since 2003, I’ve seen countless trends, products and marketing strategies come and go. Yet one thing has remained consistent: a significant gap in how sex toy retailers serve marginalized communities.

Kimberly Scott Faubel ·
Show More