opinion

Squirting and terrorism

Shane's World is releasing The Great American Squirt-off, a competition between the likes of Flower Tucci, Cytherea, Angela Stone, Felony, and others to determine which of them squirts farthest, most frequently, most copiously, and most fragrantly.

Squirting competitions have been around since Biblical times. Check out this passage from the Epistle of St. Paul to the Ephesians (3:18):

You may be able to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth...

You don't need to be a theologian to figure out what that means. Of course the Bible, like the Constitution, is open to interpretation, but no one doubts the explicit references to squirting in every Amendment from the sixth through the 15th.

Anyway, Ron Jeremy and Leah Luv judged this competition, which is not to be confused with The Great American Chertoff, about how the Department of Homeland Security is dealing with the problems of terrorist cells in the United States by means of female ejaculation.

Copyright © 2024 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

How to Thwart Holiday Fraudsters With Finesse

The holiday season is a prime time for shopping. Unfortunately, it’s also peak season for credit card fraud. With increased transactions both online and in-store, fraudsters have more opportunities to exploit vulnerabilities — and they are getting better at it every day.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

WIA Profile: Rae Threat

Threat is completely self-taught. Shooting nightlife was how she learned photography and honed her skills, experimenting with ways to shoot low-light action shots without a flash. She notes that these nightly adventures also helped her acquire social and networking skills. One thing led to another, and she soon found herself working in the adult biz.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Girlsway Celebrates a Decade of Acclaimed Sapphic Erotica

When Girlsway launched back in 2014, Bree Mills had a plan. As head of production for Gamma Entertainment, she set out to up the stakes of all-girl content with the new imprint — and to continually, proactively reinvent the brand and its offerings along the way.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

TeamSkeet Debuts Swappz Channel, 'Swapception' Feature

Chief Revenue Officer Brandon explains, “The inspiration behind ‘Swappz’ emerged from a growing market demand for niche adult content that pushes boundaries and explores the taboo themes and deal-striking handshakes of swaps.”

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

Brittney Kade Talks Big 'Career-First' for Adult Time

Brittney Kade’s first gangbang originated as an Adult Time “Director Showcase,” a creative opportunity the production team offered to Jim Powers, one of the studio’s regular producers.

Alejandro Freixes ·
opinion

On the Set: Welcome to Adult Time's 'Futa World'

Dressed revealingly in a yellow waitress uniform, Lauren Phillips greets eager customers Hailey Rose and Chloe Surreal. On a sign announcing the grand opening of “Dick’s Diner,” the apostrophe between letters k and s bears a striking resemblance to an ejaculating penis.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Hayley Davies: From New Zealand Math Nerd to Fast-Rising Adult Star

Growing up, New Zealander Hayley Davies was a proud nerd who participated in mathematics competitions against students from much higher grades. Her good looks turned out to be a kind of secret weapon, causing peers to underestimate her intellectual acumen.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

WIA Profile: Inka Winter

Award-winning erotic filmmaker and ForPlay Films founder Inka Winter knows what she wants her films to be, and what she doesn’t want them to be. She seeks to depict sexuality that is mindful, based in human connection and trauma-informed.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

Free Agent Auteur: Casey Calvert Expands Her Directing Horizon

Now, having brought that highly-awarded polyamory trilogy to a close, Calvert is concluding the exclusive Lust Cinema directing chapter of her career and charting a new course out into open creative waters as a free agent.

Alejandro Freixes ·
profile

Collaboration Done Differently: Adult Time Discusses Ambassador Program

Since the launch of Adult Time in 2019, award-winning director and chief creative officer Bree Mills has actively explored collaborative opportunities with members of the performer community, seeking out talent whose values align with the company’s and who appreciate the type of content Mills creates for the multibrand platform.

Alejandro Freixes ·
Show More