Recently, I've become addicted to watching a lesbian named Jackie, who is the star of a reality television show called "Workout," aired on the Bravo network. The boss of a high-rise gym called Sky-Sport that caters to a celebrity clientele, Jackie is on the verge of breaking up with her girlfriend and is presently looking for a new companion. This being said, the show has caused me, as a straight woman, to become curious about these two women's relationship, and it has even provoked me to question the differences between the sexual relationships between men and women and women and women.
For the first time, instead of viewing two typically "angry at men" lesbians (which to me is a real turnoff as it shows weakness when a lesbian has this sort of emotional baggage), I just see two people who bring real love and emotional needs to their relationship. This couple is refreshing, displaying a relationship that is playfully interactive and different from what I'm used to viewing on television.
As a straight woman, I find it compelling on so many levels. The draw for me is purely in watching their connection and questioning what makes their desires sexually different from mine. I love the way they talk to each other and touch each other, as women possess the ability to communicate in a more sensitive and passionately raw way than men. They also really understand each other's intimate needs because they're the same sex, and it truly pushes my buttons to see two women connecting this deeply.
The power that Jackie has from really knowing and accepting who she is also turns me on, because she has the power that men hold, but she is very much a woman in every way, which makes me want more from myself.
Exploring my own feelings and desires more deeply led me to look at how lesbians are portrayed in adult entertainment, specifically the presentations depicted on websites that supposedly show real lesbians in action. Unfortunately, much of what I found left me disappointed.
Made For Men?
The issue is that there seems to be a fundamental difference between the type of lesbian porn that guys want to see and what girls want to see. While I'm not a lesbian, like many girls, I have had "girlfriends" in the past, so perhaps my perspective could be more from a bi-curious standpoint. But still, as a girl who considers herself straight, I didn't find the typical offerings compelling enough to interest me.
The difference is that guys (simple creatures that they are) only want to see two gorgeous models (it doesn't matter if they're really lesbians or not) going at it. I, on the other hand, want to see what real lesbians do behind closed doors; my attention is held by knowing the truth. Fantasies are fun, but knowing what makes a real lesbian tick is the cat's meow. I can easily close my eyes and think of something to get off to, but it's knowing and finding out more of the real thing that keeps me coming back for more.
For example, when I look at one of the most popular lesbian sites, SapphicErotica.com, I see a typical man's site — something that a guy would join — but for me it's just another website with a bunch of pretty girls doing just what guys want them to do for the camera. It's a beautifully designed site, mind you, but I'm not sure if it's real or pretend, because it doesn't have anything referring to a real life lesbian's experiences attached to it. There's no personality, interaction, or draw. For me, that's like looking at naked bodies over and over again until they all just look the same. It doesn't draw me in to want to know more or pay for more.
By Women For Women
But in viewing the Cyber-Dyke.net website, I find quite a few different ingredients that pique my interest, such as its compelling opening statement, "Welcome to the only erotic entertainment network for women bi women on the web," and its closing hook statement, "Welcome to the best thing to come into our sex lives since the AA battery!"
And if you're anything like me, you know exactly what that means, and how it again piques my curiosity. The site offers a blog that delivers reality with interaction and while the pictures are still quite sexual, there's a definite chemistry here that's missing in typical male fantasy lesbian porn.
Sapphosgirls.com, which is a part of the Cyber-Dyke network, offers beauty as well as the chemistry to make you feel like staying around to check out more, and with a statement like "Welcome to the new face of adult sites created for women and by women," what more does a girl need to make her want to see what they're talking about?
Of course, simple teaser text isn't the only ingredient required to make my purchase impulse click; after all, unless the site truly reflects a feminine vision of lesbian erotica and isn't just the typical 'male fantasy' product claiming to be "by women for women," I'm not likely to stick around. Such transparent ruses will send me looking elsewhere.
There's a handful of sites out there that give a straight girl like me reason to pull out my credit card and quench my thirst, but if it's not for real, then all you'll get from me is Monopoly money, or in other words, if what you're offering me is fake, then don't expect to make a sale.
While these are only one girl's opinions, I'm sure they are shared by many others. Understanding my points can make a positive difference in your lesbian porn marketing efforts — and your ability to market to women in general. When in doubt, ask your own girlfriend if she would join your site and incorporate any changes she suggests: it just might be the key to dramatically increasing your bottom line.
