Licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, Dr. Marty Klein has been a voice of sexual advocacy both for his clients and the American public for more than 35 years. The award-winning author/speaker/therapist has given 1,000 keynote speeches and lectures to countless organizations and colleges including Stanford University Medical School and Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Dr. Klein’s book “America’s War on Sex” was honored as Book of the Year by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, & Therapists. Dr. Klein has written his seventh book titled “His Porn, Her Pain Confronting America’s Porn Panic with Honest Talk About Sex.” The book, available in both hardback and paperback, is Dr. Klein’s answer to the question: “What would happen if America were flooded with free high-quality, free pornography?” “His Porn, Her Pain” discusses a wide-range of subjects that include what Dr. Klein has termed a “Porn Panic” created by ‘moral entrepreneurs’ that affects us all psychologically, culturally, politically and personally.”
According to Dr. Klein, the landscape of sex and relationships changed dramatically when broadband flooded American homes and pornography was instantly at the fingertips of anyone with a computer and internet connection. And within Dr. Klein’s therapy practice a common theme emerged from heterosexual females.
That smart phone has more power than the computer NASA used to put the first man on the moon and we give them to 14-year-olds. -Dr. Marty Klein, Licensed Therapist and Certified Sexpert
“I noticed that gay male couples weren’t complaining about their partner’s pornography use, and neither were heterosexual males,” says Dr. Klein. “It was heterosexual females who were the most affected by their partner’s use of it. We were starting to see this commonality from therapists everywhere.” The grievances sparked the basis for “His Porn, Her Pain,” but the book provides insight and advice for both men and women, as well as critical advice for parents dealing with their offspring becoming sexually active in the age of the iPhone and promotes porn literacy for teens and adults.
“Adults have given the keys to something as large and as complicated as the internet to teenagers without sitting them down to talk about it,” says Dr. Klein. “As a result teenagers don’t have an idea of what sex is like in real life. But the key issue isn’t to get rid of porn. The key issue is where teenagers can go for sex education. Most parents are not comfortable with sex education in school and talking to kids about sex. So kids turn to another source, the internet and pornography to learn about sex. Look at the average 15 year old and his or her iPhone. That smart phone has more power than the computer NASA used to put the first man on the moon and we give them to 14-year-olds! If adults can’t stop texting when they drive, how on Earth do you imagine teenagers will use the iPhone?”
The book touches on highly sensitive and emotionally-charged topics including on whether or not pornography lowers a woman’s self-esteem, creates sexual dysfunction issues for men and if porn damages normal sexual relationships.
“Nobody leaves a perfectly good thriving relationship for pornography,” says Dr. Klein. “There are always other issues, something else going on. Porn doesn’t do damage, but a person’s beliefs surrounding it can be used in ways that undermine relationships.”
And Dr. Klein believes one of the biggest barriers of sexual freedom are anti-porn stakeholders who have arrived in the form of a whole new range of pornography critics.
“There are 60 million consumers who view pornography and they have no voice,” says Dr. Klein. “Consumers need a public voice on this subject. The new porn narrative has changed to one where porn critics are primarily religious, anti-sex work, anti-everything activists who say porn is dangerous. All these other voices are allowed to talk, but no one is consulting porn consumers and asking what they want.”
“I hope readers walk away with ideas about how to talk to their mate,” says Dr. Klein. “And better ideas about how to talk to kids. I hope they are motivated for professional help if that’s what they need. I hope they come away with the better understanding of what porn does, how to talk to people, the structure of human fantasy and why fantasy is not desire. I hope it will get clear for some people. There is something for almost everyone in this book.”
