opinion

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! (…or Can We?)

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! (…or Can We?)

Ah, Instagram. The social media platform that everyone knows, loves and uses. From personal use to business, shopping to cyberstalking, Instagram provides us with the photographic marketing tool that we love, and at the tips of our fingers. As a matter of fact, today, there are more than 800 million people who are active on Instagram each month, and more than 8 million Instagram business accounts (about 71 percent of U.S. businesses have Instagram accounts), which means if you are looking for either a person or a brand, there is a good chance you will find them on Instagram. But what about the companies and brands that you can’t find? For example, companies and persons selling goods geared towards sexual health and sexual pleasure. Did these organizations decide to avoid a social media presence, or does Instagram have greater forces at work censoring sex?

Unfortunately, it’s the latter. Our society has an alarming educational deficit when it comes to sex. Where there is a lack of education, you can almost always expect decisions (including community guidelines) to be based in fear. While this is tragic, it makes sense. The U.S. has a complicated moral relationship with sex, everywhere from our modes of archaic censorship to our model for shame-based, abstinence-only public sex education.

Have you ever wondered who sets the standards and guidelines for social media platforms? The owners do! Instagram allows a young demographic of users onto the platform. According to Investopedia, its target demographic is teenagers, although the most active users are between the ages of 18-29. Consumers as young as 13 can create an account. Considering most every American has been trained to “protect” children from learning about sex from a pleasure-based model, it follows a very strict set of restrictions.

On the very first page of Instagram’s community guidelines, it states “don’t spam people or post nudity,” followed by a longer explanation of: “We know that there are times when people might want to share nude images that are artistic or creative in nature, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t allow nudity on Instagram. This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks. It also includes some photos of female nipples,” but then oddly enough goes on to state “photos of post-mastectomy scarring and women actively breastfeeding are allowed. Nudity in photos of paintings and sculptures is OK, too.” Hmm. According to the guidelines, Instagram can be subjective, to say the least.

Over the last year, Instagram has quietly implemented a process referred to as shadow banning, which is a tactic used to discourage users from sharing content which opposes its guidelines. It can occur when a photo has broken one of Instagram's community guidelines, for example, using a broken or banned hashtag, or even by using a software that violates the terms of service. If you think this may have happened to you, you can check by using a shadowban analyzer, or by searching your photo with the hashtags you have used through another users account. Luckily, it seems as though shadow banning is not permanent, and can be reversed as soon as you fix the red flags in your content.

So now let’s talk about why sex-related content tends to get shut down on Instagram. We know that “sex sells,” but thanks to its community guidelines, not on Instagram. And, if we zoom out, the problem is a lot bigger than Instagram.

Last year two bills, FOSTA (the Fight Online Sex Trafficking) and SESTA (the Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) were passed by the House and Senate with the goal of reducing the amount of sex trafficking that occurs online. And while this censorship was introduced to monitor and disband online prostitution, it also contributes to the limited existence of sexual content online. According to StopSesta.org, “since Congress passed SESTA/FOSTA, owners of popular online platforms have responded by censoring completely lawful activity from their sites. Other sites hosting lawful activity have shut down entirely,” and its induction causes online platforms to “risk severe civil and criminal penalties for the activities of their users or restrict their users speech, silencing a lot of marginalized voices in the process.” In fact, just last month sex educator, love coach and Instagram user @lorraejo had her account deactivated due to the new bills, and believes that “anyone that is talking openly and honestly about sex is at risk.”

Until our nation begins implementing sexual education to give people a framework from which to teach, fear will continue to dominate the bills that are passed, and as a result, censorship will continue to dominate media and communication. This means companies which are sex-positive in nature will continue to face discrimination in the media and on social media platforms. Instead of fighting the guidelines (whether it be on Instagram or another outlet), we have found that it is better to promote our message from within the confines of the guidelines. An unknown source once said, “in a contest between a river and a rock, the river always wins. Why? Because the river is willing to follow the natural call of gravity, going over, under, around or, eventually, through the rock, to its destiny which, as with all water, is to ultimately merge with the ocean.”

Being crass and demonstrative will only give these governing entities the power to shut us down, and when they shut us down they also silence our message. We aren’t going to change Instagram’s rules, so let’s find a way to share pleasure-based sex education within Instagram’s guidelines. This will consume less energy and produce greater results. Be the river.

Forward Approach Marketing (FAM) provides reliable, result-driven attention to businesses by creating custom marketing plans designed to meet each client’s unique goals. We implement a strategy of “educate to elevate” across all platforms, sharing stories which break stereotypes, obtaining positive placement with trade and consumer press, offering media preparation, as well as advertising and social media strategies.

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

Examining the Obstacles of Operating an Adult Business in India

The sexual wellness market in India is projected to experience significant growth in the coming years, yet sex remains taboo in this country of 1.3 billion people. Legal and cultural barriers prevent open discussions around sex.

Raj Armani ·
opinion

How Pleasure Brands, Retailers Can Tap Into the Popularity of 'Romantasy' Erotic Lit

Fans of the “Bat Boys” and demon-born princes alike, rejoice! Sarah J. Maas took 2024 by storm, claiming the title of bestselling author of the year with her raunchy “romantasy” novels, partly thanks to BookTok. With millions of fans worldwide, Maas’ works aren’t just dominating bestseller lists; they’re also encouraging people to embrace role-play and fantasy in their own sex lives.

Scarlett Ward ·
trends

Pleasure Purveyors Discuss Emerging Trends, Ambitions for 2025

2025 is upon us, and the pleasure industry is poised for another dynamic year. As brands realign their goals to satisfy shifting demand, seize new opportunities and capitalize on cutting-edge innovations, the focus for the new year is on delivering inclusive, accessible and technology-driven products that redefine pleasure and wellness.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
profile

WIA Profile: Jacqueline Macleod

To succeed in the lingerie industry, it’s imperative to keep one foot in the adult biz, another in the mainstream fashion world — and both hands spinning plates of trend reports, apparel design experience and customer support.

Women In Adult ·
profile

Awakening Boutique Co-Founder Tory Johnson Discusses Mission to Spread Sex Positivity in Colorado

For some customers, especially first-timers, entering an adult retail store can be a nerve-racking experience. That’s why Colorado pleasure chain Awakening emphasizes customer comfort, aiming to destigmatize conversations around adult products by providing a safe and respectful shopping experience.

Quinton Bellamie ·
profile

Dreamlove Distribution Aims to Keep European Retailers On-Trend

From new annual trade shows in Barcelona and Malaga to the expanding international reach of Spanish sex toy brands, distributors and retailers, Spain continues to establish itself as the up-and-coming European hotspot for the pleasure industry to conduct business.

Colleen Godin ·
profile

Allure Lingerie Owner George Makar Offers a Glimpse Behind the Brand

For over 30 years, Canadian lingerie brand Allure has been doing things differently. It’s a defining characteristic of the company, one that dates back to its roots as an adult retailer and underlies its current reputation as a design house — and owner-designer George Makar's rep for originality.

Colleen Godin ·
opinion

How to Build Retail Customer Loyalty Through Connection

The most valuable part of any business is the customer, so it’s no wonder that Get to Know Your Customers Day is celebrated not just annually, but quarterly.

Ian Kulp ·
opinion

Tips for Fostering Productive Conversations in Adult Retail Settings

In an ideal world, every workplace interaction would run smoothly. Employees would communicate clearly and directly, customers would always be satisfied and challenges would resolve themselves.

Tori Titus-McCrobie ·
opinion

A Look at the Fortune 500 Tech Available for Adult Stores

It used to be that if you wanted cutting-edge tech to power your adult store operation, you needed a Fortune 500 budget. Small and midsize stores had to settle for basic systems and manual processes, and hope that hustle, grit and good intentions could compensate for the tech gap.

Sean Quinn ·
Show More