I get asked how I deal with trolls on a regular basis by my peers in the industry. In fact, whenever a bunch of us get together, the topic always comes up. And while I have to deal with them occasionally, overall, I truly feel like I have the best fans and friends and I feel it has everything to do with what I put out into the world. Hopefully some of the ideas about how I deal with my fans and critics will help you eliminate trolls from your life.
We can all get better about how we deal with our fans and haters. Everything we put out there, every message and every comment, reflects back on us and affects how we are perceived. Positive or negative, what are we as sex workers without our individual image? Let’s take control of it and make it positive.
There is so much drama that I wouldn’t have known about (or that wouldn’t even exist) if somebody hadn’t responded to someone else’s post.
It’s easy to be skeptical of DMs, thinking people are most likely wasting your time. But it’s still important to treat them like they will become a paying customer. That’s why I’m straightforward from the get-go, but I’m never rude. If I only told people to pay for my DMs, I would have a lot less customers. But a lot of my customers have told me that they appreciate that I do respond to my DMs and give them an opportunity to figure out how best to serve them.
We have so many different platforms, from camming to Snapchat, fan sites, personal websites, etc. and the preferred method of consuming our content isn’t the same for everyone across the board. That’s why we have the options. Taking a few minutes to figure out where I can direct them is crucial to not only securing the sale, but keeping them as a customer for longer. If somebody is just trying to chit-chat, I assure them that of course I wish I had the time to spend with them at that moment but unfortunately, I don’t. I do, however, take the time daily to message with people on one of my paid platforms. It is the only place where I can guarantee that I will be making time to respond to messages regularly and that I would love for them to join.
Nine out of 10 cases, when people come off as rude, they usually don’t mean it. For example, when I get an unsolicited dick pic, I send them a message that I have saved in my phone for such an occasion. The message is written as a parent would speak to a bad child. I want to inform them that their actions were wrong, but that I’m not judging them. I don’t tell them that nobody wants to see that, I don’t berate them, nor do I comment on the pic at all. I concisely inform them that consent is important when sending this type of content; I tell them where they can send it (my premium snapchat or paid texting are the only places I’ll allow that); and that if they ever do it again, I’ll block them without a second warning.
Most of the time, they immediately apologize. Their intentions were to show me that they liked a picture I had posted or just finished watching a clip of mine. Now they know how to show me they liked something or how to treat others moving forward. Inform, don’t judge. Then go back to selling them something else.
When negativity comes in the form of messages against you, the best method is to simply ignore it. That’s harder than it seems. I’ve wanted to snap back and put more than a few people in their place! My partner loves roasting people and is excellent at it, but we have to keep that conversation between ourselves as that could impact how people see us. When you respond to something online with negativity, you’re only shedding more light on the subject and showing the negative side of yourself.
There is so much drama that I wouldn’t have known about (or that wouldn’t even exist) if somebody hadn’t responded to someone else’s post. My first response is to try and kill whatever I’m facing with kindness. That, obviously, doesn’t always work, but I’m not going to get upset because somebody else wants to be negative. I’m also not going to be trigger-happy with blocking people. Blocking people will just piss them off unnecessarily and they could come back as a troll. I’d rather they get ignored until they stop, but can still give me the engagement on all my posts. That’s not to say I don’t block people when it’s necessary, but the line for that shouldn’t be easy to cross.
You have to remember that everything you put out in the world through social media or when live online directly affects people’s opinions of you. This may be an obvious statement, but I see a lot of tweets that come from an emotional state and reflect poorly upon the person’s image, such as “you guys were boring tonight, so I logged off early,” “why tf hasn’t anybody bought my new video yet,” “why haven’t I gotten booked enough for shoots” and “this industry is biased to such-and-such types, ugh, I hate it.”
In the first two examples, you’d be insulting your fans/customers, as well as your own content. You’re making it seem like your content isn’t even worth buying! Not every night is going to be a good one and anybody who’s done it for a while will testify to that. But for the fans that couldn’t make it that night, you want to make it seem like they missed something and hint at another great show when you’ll be on again. You don’t want to alienate the ones that did show up either.
As for clips you’ve posted for sale, nobody knows how much you’re selling or making unless … you … tell them! Nobody knows how much you’re getting booked unless … you … tell them! And nobody in the industry is going to want to work with somebody that complains about the industry! Try and sell yourself and your products better. Positive posts, replies and marketing are also good salesmanship! If you seem like a hot commodity, people will eventually treat you like one. Try posts such as “for those that showed up, thanks for spending time with me tonight, see you again tomorrow,” “hot new clip and I’m discounting it for the first 24 hours; you don’t want to miss this one” and “tested and ready to shoot! I have a few openings left, so message me to schedule.”
Social media is great for connecting with fans and peers, peddling our offerings and creating each of our individual brands. If your goal is for people to like you for more than your looks — and that is ever more important these days — then you need to put out into the world your personality traits that you like the most. We all have more than just the happy, smiley side, but do fans want to see the other side? Think about what a celebrity PR rep would say to you before you put anything out into the world. If your image is that of a hard-ass bitch, then that is your image. Own it. Just know that not everybody is going to respond positively to that attitude. For the rest of us, we want people out there to see us as sweet, honest, genuine, etc. and everything we put out there needs to reflect that. Everything.
Chrissy LeBlanc is a FanCentro ambassador, performer and content creator who can be followed on ChrissyLeBlanc.xyz and Twitter @LeBlanc_Chrissy or @MyPerfectHarem with her partner.
