As we are all wildly aware, we are going through a very unusual and challenging time in history and our lives. For the past couple months, we have been living in a surreal, almost alternate universe that is so far from our normal.
Personally, I dealt with a lot of denial at first, feeling that things like this don’t happen to me, to us or to a modern world. On top of that, my lack of control over anything has been very triggering in many ways.
We are all experiencing something unique together and leaning on a trusted friend has been crucial for me during these times of anxiety and uncertainty.
I mean, what can you do when a situation is completely out of your control? How do you cope with a new reality you’ve never expected? Well, there’s no real answer to that, considering we are all so very different, and our coping mechanisms vastly vary. But I really want you to know that it’s okay to not be okay ... and that it’s also okay to be okay.
We’ve all seen the memes telling us that if we don’t come out of this lockdown with a new skill set or a new hobby, we are failures. And I simply don’t believe that’s the case. We are collectively going through a trauma together and I don’t believe we should add pressure on ourselves to somehow utilize this time to the fullest. There’s no right or wrong way to “be” right now. But here are some ways I’ve personally been coping with our new reality.
Therapy! I’ve made so many excuses to not start therapy over the past year, and with this extra time on my hands, I finally took advantage of the resources that are available to us as sex workers. Pineapple Support has been a lifesaver. Not only has it been affordable, but it paired me with the first therapist in years that I actually feel comfortable with. Pineapple Support is specially tailored for the mental health of sex workers and also can align you with therapists that are experienced in sex work or LGBTQ+ issues. Taking the time to take care of myself, simply by seeking therapy, has been one of the small gifts I’ve given myself during this pandemic.
Patience and kindness to ourselves and others is another big thing I’ve learned to practice. It’s very easy to be your own worst critic with all this extra time on your hands. For me personally, when I start to judge myself, I try to remind myself that I need to be on my own team. Would I treat a friend like this? No. So, I shouldn’t treat myself with such judgment. Treating ourselves as we treat others, with kindness, understanding and patience, is absolutely vital.
Try to set a schedule, as well. It gives us a semblance of normalcy and creates some structure when there currently really isn’t any surrounding us. Something as simple as creating small and easily achievable to-do lists daily can be really soothing and help break up the monotony.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and loved ones during the days that feel harder than others. You are not alone in this. We are all experiencing something unique together and leaning on a trusted friend has been crucial for me during these times of anxiety and uncertainty. Don’t be afraid to not be okay and to ask for help. The ups and downs are what make us human and a support system in place can be extremely helpful.
And for me, entertainment has been such a gift. Whether it’s binging my favorite shows or listening to good music or an interesting podcast, these little bits of escapism are wonderful. And here’s where I shamelessly plug my podcast. “Slut Shame This” is a podcast I started almost a year ago and it basically covers all things having to do with sex, love, self-love, work and relationships. I’ve made it a point to make the podcast feel like a safe space where no topic is off limits and vulnerability is praised. You can find everything from pro anal tips to figuring out your sexual boundaries and diving into what body image issues look like for many of us in modern times. Sex worker or not, there’s something for everyone in it. “Slut Shame This” is available on all streaming platforms for podcasts, so I’d love for you to check it out!
I’ll wrap up in really reinforcing the fact that there’s no right or wrong way to go through a traumatic time. But there are resources available to help us get through it and even the smallest acts of self-care and kindness to ourselves do make a big difference.
