opinion

What Does It Mean to Be ‘Sex-Positive’?

What Does It Mean to Be ‘Sex-Positive’?

It is never ever too late to learn more about sex! We as educators in the adult industry should advocate for this in our daily lives. Whether that is by speaking to customers in-store, sharing on social media or talking to our children, family and friends. The more we talk about sexual health and wellness, the less taboo it becomes. I choose to not hide where I work or what I do for a living, I take a more open approach and try to cultivate why our careers are valid and needed. I am incredibly open about being sex-positive in my personal life and on my social media accounts; the way I see it is if I educate one person or help one person find pleasure it is all worth it to me.

Most people are in fact having sex or want to, but yet some people have never considered a sex toy or solo sex. Consider why this is, and when you got your first sex toy. When was the first time you masturbated or even heard the word “orgasm?” Did your parents openly talk to you about pleasure, masturbation or your anatomy? In addition to the sex talk at home (or lack thereof), think back to health class in school. This is a big part as to why this industry is so important. I would argue that every community needs a local adult store — if I could have it my way, then that would be the case.

We are the sex educators that [customers] never had in school; we can change people’s lives.

Sex education in schools needs to be revamped. In addition to doing away with abstinence-based sex-ed, which is severely outdated and potentially harmful, sex education should also include LGBTQ individuals and relationships.

Sex education should be pleasure-focused and we should teach proper anatomy and terms. I personally learned more from Ducky DooLittle’s anatomy pictures than I ever did in school. I would also go a step further and say that we should teach our children about gender identity and sexual orientation. Sex education often assumes students are all heterosexual and identify as a man or woman, which is simply not the case.

If none of this can be taught in school or by your parents or guardians, where are we to learn it from? This is another reason why adult stores are so important and why our careers matter!

So, what does it mean to be sex-positive? I think most would agree that that it entails accepting all consensual expressions of sexuality, nudity and kink as healthy. It encourages sexual pleasure, informed consent and advocates sex education. Sex is not shameful, taboo or unhealthy in any way. I believe at Excitement and in this industry, we have taken long strides to change with the times and be more inclusive.

This is where we as educators play a vital role in getting the proper information out in our communities. Being in the adult industry for almost 12 years, I have noticed more people coming into our stores for the first time, and reaching out to me online with questions. If you remember back to the ‘80s or ‘90s, you may recall adult stores being dirty or dark, and going into rental stores that hid adult movies and mags behind curtains. Most toys back then took batteries and were made of jelly-like material. We have come a long way and will continue to evolve as we move forward. The customers coming in for toys are asking questions and we can provide not only the answers they are looking for, but also a safe space to feel welcomed and accepted. They are not just purchasing any random toy and leaving. They are interested in the material, how it will function and feel for their bodies. We are the sex educators that they never had in school; we can change people’s lives. That — and understanding my own sexuality and journey — is why I do what I do.

An estimated 5.6 percent of Americans identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer according to a recent poll by Gallup, and we need to be able to service all these consumers. So how is this affecting our industry and products? I, for one, am seeing a huge trend in shoppers seeking out more toys that are gender non-specific and that are versatile in their functions. To begin, you need to have products in your stores that represent this — meaning we should refrain from gendering toys. Also, we should not assume someone’s gender, their sexual orientation or their relationship status. We should use gender-neutral packaging, signs and wording to match so that we are being inclusive to everyone. Be sure to use proper terminology to not exclude anyone, because in reality, a specific product can be universal to more than one gender. For example, in the industry and in our stores, we have begun saying “vagina owner” or “penis owner” instead of female or male. One of my biggest pet peeves as a lesbian is that I do not want to purchase a product that has a picture of a male-and-female couple on the box, it just does not line up with who I am or what I am looking for. We need to be able to demonstrate to others that we are in fact inclusive. I love seeing companies in the industry using same-sex partners, all body types and all skin tones more than ever before.

Many manufacturers have done an amazing job at being inclusive and many more are redoing their packaging and taking this into consideration for new product and marketing releases. The CalExotics Boundless line is one example of gender-neutral packaging that works, and I am in love with it. Fun Factory, Le-Wand, b-Vibe, Femme Funn, Sensuelle, NS Novelties and Sportsheets have all done an impressive job of being gender-neutral and inclusive with their packaging and marketing.

We are among the few industries that have been booming during the pandemic, leaving us at an advantage. We should take this time and invest in our future and keep focusing on evolving and striving to be more and more inclusive.

Loretta Goodling has 11 years with Pennsylvania-based Excitement Adult Stores, and is the buyer for all five of its stores.

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

Top Product Launch Tactics to Boost Q4 Sales

According to recent industry insights, over 70% of sexual wellness brands finalize their Q4 lineups between July and early September. This is a high-stakes window for launching new products.

Matthew Spindler ·
opinion

Why People-First Product Training Still Matters in a Digital World

In a market where convenience often trumps connection, you might wonder if there’s still space for human-led product training. As someone who has spent years delivering such training sessions, I can assure you that there absolutely is. In fact, they are more vital than ever as we continue to see a shift toward a future featuring fewer human interactions and more digital learning.

Kelly Gordon ·
opinion

Scroll-Stopping Social Media Strategies to Capture Short Attention Spans

Attention spans are shrinking across all types of media. No matter how innovative a concept may be, if it doesn’t stop the scroll, it’s quickly forgotten. That’s why Netflix has intentionally been simplifying its content, with executives directing writers to create scripts that are less complex and nuanced, and more second-screen-friendly.

Naima Karp ·
opinion

The Hidden Cost of Letting Retail Define Pleasure Brands

Not long ago, spotting vibrators and lubricants at a national chain like Target or CVS might have raised eyebrows. Now, it’s almost expected.

Rin Musick ·
profile

WIA Profile: Kelsey Harris

At sister distribution brands Nalpac and Entrenue, one woman is in charge of leading customers in the right direction: Director of Sales Kelsey Harris. Since Michigan-based Nalpac took the reins of Arizona’s Entrenue, Harris has led both sales teams from her home base in Oakland County, Michigan.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

Rebranding Sexual Wellness Through a Self-Care Approach

As most of us in the industry already know, sexual wellness remains the black sheep of self-care. Discussions about wellness glorify meditation apps, skincare routines and workout regimens — but mention masturbation or using a sex toy, and most people shy away from the topic.

Hail Groo ·
opinion

Why Sex Toy Innovation Isn't What Shoppers Want Right Now

During my first year in the industry, the luxury vibrator on shelves was LELO’s Gigi, priced at $109. It was made with high-quality silicone, boasted an ergonomic design, a travel lock and a warranty. Soon after, Je Joue released its first product, SaSi, which employed “rolling ball” movements to simulate oral sex.

Sarah Tomchesson ·
opinion

How Adult Retailers Can Enhance Sales With Supplements

The supplement industry is big business. In 2024, Future Market Insights estimated it to be valued at $74.3 billion, and other market research firms anticipate that number will grow to upwards of $170 billion in just 10 years.

Rick Magana ·
opinion

Why It's Time the Pleasure Industry Got Serious About IPX Waterproof Ratings

As someone who regularly communicates with manufacturers, retailers and consumers, I’ve seen how this ambiguity can do a disservice to both the customers who use these products and the businesses that sell them.

Alicia Sinclair Rosen ·
opinion

Tips for Sexual Wellness Brands to Win Over Gen Z This Summer

As summer rolls around, the excitement in the air is palpable, especially for one particular demographic: Gen Z. College and university classes are over, vacations are booked and it’s time to let loose.

Naima Karp ·
Show More