Pioneer, old-timer, veteran and elder— these aren’t the sexiest of adjectives to describe an adult entertainer, but they’ve been used to describe me, and I don’t mind. They speak to the fact that I created and starred in my own amateur girl-next-door porn website, Seska.com, in the late 1990s and into the late 2000s. This was the time of dial-up, two-minute refresh cams and slow-loading pic post pages, but it was also an exciting and libertine time to be making porn.
We “internet amateurs,” as we were called, were the life of the party at any of the numerous porn conventions that popped up back then. We were also behind the development of the very first cam networks, and challenged stereotypes by leaving behind our mainstream careers while still being married with kids and starting a life in porn in our 30s. For close to a decade, I found financial and personal satisfaction collaborating with my friends in documenting and sharing our sex adventures. It really was quite wonderful.
I’ve decided on a strategy that I think is the most financially viable and personally sustainable path for someone like me — a mature and experienced woman.
However, the fun and money came to an end courtesy of pirated content and the financial crisis of 2007-2008. Most internet amateurs sold or closed down their websites. Me? I had a midlife crisis, turned my site into a personal blog and put my XXX content in the VIP Members Network for a bit of passive income. I also pivoted to full-service sex work (FSSW) to support myself and my passion projects (burlesque, sex work activism and life-coaching).
For much of the 2010s, I thought porn was in my past. The landscape changed so much thanks to social media platforms, technological advances, business consolidation and more recently, SESTA/FOSTA. I couldn’t visualize my place within it, even though I followed the business with avid interest.
Then the Nordic Model became law in Canada. The policing of in-person sex work made it more dangerous than I was willing to endure. I knew I needed to pivot again. But to what? The “sex work ghetto” is very real, and it’s such a challenge to find work outside of the sex industry with a resumé like mine.
Thankfully, my subconscious is anything but subtle, and I had dreams about making porn. I knew I was processing what the work would look and feel like for me as a mature woman with extraordinary life experiences, but I thought this was simply the next phase of my midlife crisis. After doing many of the exercises I used as a life coach, however, I realized I was rediscovering my calling. Creating and starring in my own porn a second time around was exactly what I wanted to do. So, a few months before the COVID-19 pandemic began, I decided to make my comeback.
Starting in January of 2020, I took a broad experimental approach to find my footing in today’s porn milieu. I sought out advice from performers and creators I respected and admired. I became active on Twitter once again. I joined engagement groups and did shout-for-shout (SFS), like-for-like (L4L), drips and drops. I had lots of fun rediscovering sex on camera (albeit solo, because of the pandemic). I reclaimed pirated videos of mine that I found on tube sites. I created a Reddit account. I upgraded my equipment. I explored ways of making an income that either didn’t exist in my day (cam2cam shows, sexting and fan sites) or that, back then, hadn’t been part of my business model (custom videos and clip stores).
Throughout what turned out to be a very challenging year, I stayed home, did the work and tracked my results. Now, I’ve decided on a strategy that I think is the most financially viable and personally sustainable path for someone like me — a mature and experienced woman with a healthy sense of herself and sexuality, re-entering the porn business some 10 years after leaving it.
I began by collaborating with YourPaysitePartner to create a new tour for Seska.com featuring all of my vintage content, as well as new videos and a weekly live cam show. I also engaged in private camming exclusively with Treasure Cams on Streamate, while using fan sites as a freemium option.
Like other Gen X women, I’m part of the sandwich generation and have familial responsibilities that ask a lot of me. I’m also heading towards retirement, and this is my last opportunity to make and save money. After all of the things I’ve overcome in the past couple of decades, I’m determined not to sacrifice my sexual pleasure or my mental health to earn a living as I did in the past.
I feel that aligning myself with reliable and established partners will lay a strong foundation for building a successful Seska 2.0, and I am excited to get started and see where this next leg of my journey takes me.