opinion

No Stress Leadership

April is review month for most of the employees here at our company and it has allowed me to reflect on how so many of our team members have grown over the last year, and how I have grown, as well.  Specifically, it made me think of how we all dealt with stress in years past as opposed to the way we deal with it now.  Ten years ago as a marketing assistant for TopBucks, I remember how stressed out I felt and how that manifested in knots in my upper and lower back.  I’d go and get massages to help relieve the stress and the knots in my muscles and the massage therapists would always comment on how I must have a super stressful job. 

Now, as President of Pink Visual, I’ve gone at least a good three years without the sensation of stress and without the knots in my back.  I’m sure some would joke that it must be because I’m stressing out other people in my position instead of myself, but I know that’s not true and I’m 100% sure it’s due to the leadership training we received as a company, five years ago.

For any business that is growing in personnel and/or frustrations, I highly recommend taking the time to get leadership training.  For those of you who have already done the math, yes we had training here five years ago and my stress stopped about three years ago, so I’m sure you’re wondering ‘why did it take two years to see results?‘ Well, the answer is that it really takes two years to evolve any corporate culture, and although leadership training really focuses around some basic understandings, it takes a while to put those understandings into practice.

These basic understandings are things like differentiating between what I as an individual or us as a company have control over versus what we have influence over.  It’s amazing how much the idea of thinking that we can control other people or other companies can be stressful.  On the other hand, it’s amazing how understanding that there are things we can do to influence others without being able to control them can be freeing.

Another basic guideline from our leadership training was to self-evaluate when we run into issues with our team.  The training emphasized the importance of asking ourselves questions like “what it is that we want, what are we doing to get what we want, is what we’re doing working, what else can we do, and what else will we do? “ This has been the perfect solution to those repetitive problems where I, or our other leaders at Pink Visual, may have answered something like “Well, I keep telling him what to do and he’s not doing it.”  We’ve learned the obvious; namely, that “telling him what to do” is not working…. so why do we keep doing it?

The final thing I’ll share that I believe has influenced me to become a No Stress Leader, has been to identify that our role is to lead and develop other leaders, not to develop managers and people to manage the work of others.  So we’ve focused a lot around leading others to make the right decisions and leading others to engage with the company and leading others to know when to ask and know when they are making the right decisions.  This has freed up so much time from having to control the work of others and allowed for more creativity in our workplace.

It gives me a great sense of pride to recognize how much our team members (and me, too) have developed in terms of our leadership and our approach to conflict resolution. Now, I must admit, while these same principles can be applied in personal life, and I have tried to do so, the principles of leadership training are much harder to apply where toddlers are concerned…. :)

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

How the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act Could Impact Adult Businesses

Congress is considering a bill that would change the well-settled definition of obscenity and create extensive new risks for the adult industry. The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act, introduced by Sen. Mike Lee, makes a mockery of the First Amendment and should be roundly rejected.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

Is Your Retail Business Sextech-Ready?

Sextech isn’t just a niche novelty anymore; it’s the future of sexual wellness. From wearable sex toys that provide biofeedback to interactive sex toys with AI capabilities, sextech has made significant progress over the past few years.

Kate Kozlova ·
opinion

What US Sites Need to Know About UK's Online Safety Act

In a high-risk space like the adult industry, overlooking or ignoring ever-changing rules and regulations can cost you dearly. In the United Kingdom, significant change has now arrived in the form of the Online Safety Act — and failure to comply with its requirements could cost merchants millions of dollars in fines.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Top Product Launch Tactics to Boost Q4 Sales

According to recent industry insights, over 70% of sexual wellness brands finalize their Q4 lineups between July and early September. This is a high-stakes window for launching new products.

Matthew Spindler ·
opinion

Understanding the MATCH List and How to Avoid Getting Blacklisted

Business is booming, sales are steady and your customer base is growing. Everything seems to be running smoothly — until suddenly, Stripe pulls the plug. With one cold, automated email, your payment processing is shut down. No warning, no explanation.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

Scroll-Stopping Social Media Strategies to Capture Short Attention Spans

Attention spans are shrinking across all types of media. No matter how innovative a concept may be, if it doesn’t stop the scroll, it’s quickly forgotten. That’s why Netflix has intentionally been simplifying its content, with executives directing writers to create scripts that are less complex and nuanced, and more second-screen-friendly.

Naima Karp ·
profile

Malik Delgaty Lifts, Pounds and Performs With Heart

Malik Delgaty is America’s favorite straight gay porn star. With his “boy next door” good looks, French accent and Adonis build, it’s no shock that this 6-foot-3 Canadian import has become a regular for Men.com — not to mention consistently being the most searched gay porn star over the last few years.

Ness Miller ·
profile

Sophia Locke Talks Second Acts and Self-Love

Sophia Locke has the kind of presence that instantly makes you want to lean in. She’s confident, effortlessly glamorous and exudes sincerity. Chatting with her feels like catching up over lattes with your best friend — who happens to casually drop that she’s filming three Adult Time features next month.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

The Hidden Cost of Letting Retail Define Pleasure Brands

Not long ago, spotting vibrators and lubricants at a national chain like Target or CVS might have raised eyebrows. Now, it’s almost expected.

Rin Musick ·
profile

Reese Rideout Looks Back on a Career Written in Stardust

With his sculpted features and leading-man charisma, Reese Rideout looks like he would be at home in a Marvel blockbuster — or at least a stylish slasher flick where he plays the crafty guy who makes it all the way to the final act.

Jackie Backman ·
Show More