opinion

The Basics of Selling BDSM

The Basics of Selling BDSM

BDSM officially hit the mainstream when “Fifty Shades of Grey” was unleashed on the masses, and the trend has been picking up steam ever since. Hit prime-time TV shows like “Transparent” and “Shameless” routinely feature BDSM as plot devices and, as a result, the percentage of the population actively seeking out kink continues to rise. Luckily, you don’t have to be intimately familiar with all the movies depicting “kinky fuckery” to sell BDSM gear. It is important, however, to be proficient in BDSM basics and your customers’ desires.

There’s never been a better time to maximize the sales potential of BDSM items featured in the media. It’s also the perfect opportunity to convert first-time buyers into satisfied repeat customers. One of the best ways to keep them coming back for more is to recognize what your customers are buying. This doesn’t mean the devices they leave your store with; your customers are hoping to walk away with something intangible as well — the key that unlocks their wildest fantasies.

First and foremost, it’s imperative your staff is well-versed in BDSM basics. It might be intimidating for customers to take their first step into unfamiliar sexy territory.

A significant percentage of the population has always been kink-curious. An October 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that 53 percent of men and 65 percent of women fantasize about sexually submitting to a partner. Similarly, 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men fantasize about being dominant in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many end up disappointed after bringing home fuzzy handcuffs or nipple clamps. These things often do little to bring their fantasies to life and end up tossed in the nightstand forgotten. Why? Because they are simply products. Your customers need education, validation and creative inspiration, too.

Staff Education Is a Must

First and foremost, it’s imperative your staff is well-versed in BDSM basics. It might be intimidating for customers to take their first step into unfamiliar sexy territory. When coming to you for product advice, they need to know you’re knowledgeable and trustworthy. YouTube videos and popular BDSM 101 books are excellent resources for staff education and organizing in-store trainings with well-known kink educators can do wonders. Staff must understand that communication and negotiation is essential between partners for successful scenes. Once they understand BDSM framework, they can better address techniques and tools with curious newbies.

Know What Inspires Your Customers

Pop culture kink won’t teach you the core principles of BDSM, but it can help you understand what your customers are looking for. One thing is clear: they want the items they see in action on the screen. Rather than spending hours watching TV, simply knowing which items are given recurring cameos goes a long way.

When most people visualize the BDSM aesthetic, a riding crop is one of the most common items that come to mind. Delivering sensations ranging from light taps to heavy thuds make them ideal for those eager for experimentation.

Ball gags are another go-to BDSM item most people are familiar with. Just the sight of one alone can make kinksters crave some quality time in their own Red Room of Pain. The Hush Gag Silicone Comfort Ball Gag from Master Series is made from silicone and features comfort straps and features. A bar gag like the Strict Leather Silicone Bit Gag is a practical alternative for those that find ball gags taxing on their jaws.

Bondage Items

There are so many different types of bondage seen in the media. Spreader bars are often depicted in sexy dungeon movie scenes. They look intimidating which is part of their appeal. For this reason, they tend to be used by more experienced kinksters but are perfectly suitable for beginners, too.

The Hold Me Bedroom Restraint System from Frisky is a popular inexpensive total bondage option. This under-the-bed style restraint system affixes to the ankles and wrists and pins the submissive on the bed. It’s a great alternative to the tying your lover to the bed posts idea — but no actual bed posts are needed.

BDSM Gear with a Dominatrix Stamp of Approval

The new Mistress by Isabella Sinclaire line features items hand-selected by one of the most sought-after Dommes in the world. Isabella Sinclaire has been a BDSM icon for the last 25 years and is widely recognized online. Her signature collection features a number of timeless kink items that are sturdy enough for even the most hardcore play. The Isabella Sinclaire 3 Ring Leather Collar with Leash is a classic, heavy-duty collar fit for the finest dungeon slave. The collection also features Premium Leather Wrist and Ankle Cuffs, a 3 Piece Ball Stretcher Training Set, a Deluxe Silicone eStim Want Kit, and a number of other pieces to satisfy almost any kink.

It’s important to know what kind of BDSM equipment brings new customers in the door and why. What may seem like a simple red ball gag to you may mean so much more to someone that associates it with a sexy scene from their favorite movie. When customers buy equipment that mirrors what they’ve seen, they’re buying so much more than an item. They’re looking to bring the scenes they’ve seen depicted into their own bedrooms. To help make this happen, your staff needs to be prepared for more than making a simple sale. Providing customers with a little bit of education and inspiration is the key to helping them turn fantasies into reality.

Morgan Panzino is the wholesale supervisor for SexToyDistributing.com, a full-service distributor with a comprehensive inventory catering to the unique needs of adult stores online and brick-and-mortar retailers.

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